Descent into Darkness … Dawn! Blepharospasm

This post has nothing to do with birding, yet everything to do with birding. Readers who have known me for a period of time understand I have a rare vision disorder called Blepharospasm. In short my brain and eyelid muscles do not communicate properly. Last August I was forced to face the reality that I was becoming functionally blind. During a bicycle tour of the Norwegian Arctic, because of poor vision I crashed my bike and fractured some ribs. It was obvious to both my wife, Molly, and me that I needed help. I had been figuring out ways to deal with my deteriorating vision. I was out of “work arounds”.

This blog post gives everyone access to what was a very private diary I started during the very dark days of last year. In fact, in December I even Googled the terms Blepharospasm and suicide. While I don’t believe I was serious about taking my own life, I did want to learn how others dealt with the deep depression of vision loss. Thankfully, my condition was eventually correctly diagnosed and I am now receiving treatment which has returned my vision. For the rest of my life I will receive Botox injections on a periodic basis in my eyelid muscles. This effectively blocks the bad nerve miscommunication and allows me to keep my eyes open. I am able to see the wonder of nature! Thus, this blog post is about birding.

After a period of time, I decided to first give my children and their spouses the ability to read my diary. Once I knew I would survive this journey, I decided I wanted to make my diary public in the hope that others who have Blepharospasm will be comforted by my experience and know they are not alone.

Thus … my diary (downloadable PDF) … public for the first time.

Descent into Darkness … Dawn!
One man’s journey through vision loss & recovery

Lake Superior at the mouth of the Lester River … Before Dawn One Winter Morning
(800 yards from my house)

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